The Best Language

 Many schools offer a diverse selection of languages one can take. Among these are the popular ones such as French and Spanish, and rare ones such as Japanese. But which one of these languages is the best? I'm here to take you through an objective journey about the truth. And remember: Everything said here is objective fact.

 Map of Spanish speakers

  To start off, we have the most popular second language in America, Spanish. Spanish is spoken almost unanimously over an entire continent, so it must be the obvious choice, right? Wrong. You see, Spanish speakers are closely packed together, and unless you live in the lower states or in south/central America, you won't get much value out of this. The main reason is that, for our specific demographic of upper-middle class well educated students, there isn't much to get in South America. Portuguese could be an option, but it is not offered many places.

 

    But you like anime, so you were thinking about Japanese! Surely the country with the third biggest economy and the biggest market for tech has to be a great choice! Well... not really. Japan does have alluring jobs and a bustling economy, but if you want to learn the language without being a prodigy you better be ready to spend hours of every day studying the 3 different scripts and complex grammar. Of course, if you can learn it and plan on moving there it is a very useful language, but you'd be hard pressed to find speakers in nearly every country! Spanish has the edge here in the fact that it is simply widely spoken, and so secondary speakers are easy to find.

 

    Okay, maybe not that. How about baguettes and wine? French is a solid choice. I can't argue with that. It shares a strength with Spanish here in that the grammar and vocabulary between the two are easy to learn. So, you learn 1.3 languages should you choose to learn one of those two. Not only that, but France has a very large economy and job opportunities. One of these fields is particle physics, as France contains the Large Hadron Collider at CERN. That's not to mention the many regions which speak French. Overall, a very solid choice.

    

    But what if you're DUMB and STUPID and chose Latin? Well, for starters you're too far gone. But if you want to learn Latin so that you have a foothold in all romance languages...

 

 

You're still dumb. You know what else would have done that? LEARNING A USEABLE ROMANCE LANGUAGE!

 

Anyways, next we have German, my personal language. Now, I have a more personal connection to German, which is one of the reasons I took it, but Germany also has fantastic engineering colleges for only a few hundred dollars per semester. German is also widely spoken as a second language in Europe, so knowing it alongside English would be able to get me anywhere I need to be. German is cool, but the best?

English! Lucky you (assuming you can read this). English is the current lingua franca, and some estimates place the current number of speakers at 3 billion. Nearly all young people in Europe will speak good English, as they have learned since a young age. Latin may be dumb and stupid and dumb but you already have the best language you could learn. The only other factor is personal reasons, for me my heritage and preference for college. But most Germans speak English anyways! 

 English speakers in 2009. The number has risen significantly since then.

tl;dr english is based